Our age is one of narcissism.
Contrary to popular belief, narcissism isn’t all that bad. There’s a balance that can be found. Though on one side of the coin you have egoism and self-absorption, on the other we have self love. It’s now a part of our rhetoric to ridicule those online who bask in the adoration of others, but need it be a bad thing?
Modern technology encourages us to share ourselves online, with apps designed like slot machines, rewarding us in a currency of likes. What we don’t realise however, is how closely this narcissism lies to insecurity and self-hatred. With an online culture that either feeds or deprives our ego with the amount of likes we get, whilst simultaneously feeding us a lifestyle of ‘good vibes only’ and ‘positivity’, we can be left feeling empty.
Empty that we didn’t get enough likes, that the likes don’t make up for not liking ourselves and empty that we’re lacking this feeling of positivity everyone keeps harping on about.
How can we get away from this definition of self-worth and make peace with our nude bodies?
I want you to think right now about the last time you said thank you to someone. Maybe it was when someone handed your first coffee this morning to you, or to someone that held the door for you, or someone that woke you up on the tube before you missed your stop. Now think about the last time you thanked yourself. For anything.
I don’t mean you thanked yourself in a roundabout way, by rewarding yourself with chocolate after filling out a long and tedious form.
I mean out loud.
“our bodies are more than just sexual. they’re functional, sensual and sacred, and should be celebrated as such.”
The sad thing is, even though most of you won’t be able to remember that, you’ll remember the last time you criticised yourself.
It’s time to change how we speak to ourselves. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how others see us or what they think of us. The only person’s judgement you have to face is your own. So, be kind. We often say to treat others as we’d like to be treated ourselves. But many of us don’t even treat ourselves the way we’d like to be treated by others.
Self-love is a term that can be daunting. It’s scary enough to love someone else, let alone ourselves. So take the first step to love and be simply grateful. Instead of feeding on a vapid culture based on likes and comments, fuck what the rest of the world thinks and thank yourself.
Thank your body for making you who you are.
For putting up with nights when you consumed too many jägerbombs, for carrying you through your first kiss, first job interview and for healing each time you grazed yourself. Thank your fanny for multiple orgasms and thank your willy for simply being there, no matter what size it is.
Nudity is taboo if in any context other than sexual. Last week a woman with purple hair at work told me that a woman was ‘disgusting’ because she was feeding her child and her ‘boob was flopped out all over the place’. When I heard of the free the nipple movement, I was outraged that being topless in the UK was illegal. It was only recently that I discovered that it’s not even illegal, only taboo and instead my outrage dissolved into sadness. We see naked bodies as pornographic, not because it’s innate but because that’s the only context in which we tend to see them. Hard, rippling muscles and oil-slicked perfectly symmetrical titties. When comparing ourselves to this caricature of modern ‘beauty’ it’s no wonder we find it hard to be kind to ourselves. This is not the only way to define nudity or our bodies. Our bodies are more than just sexual. They’re functional, sensual and sacred, and should be celebrated as such.
Dearest body, I am sorry for not always showing you the gratitude you deserve. I am sorry that sometimes I push you to your limits. That I don’t always listen as well as I should. But I promise that from now on, I will try my best.
I am grateful to you, for holding me together, when I felt like falling apart.
Thank you, for carrying me when I could not.
a medusa laughs 